


lightweight

by starrshard



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Drinking, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Kirukiyo, Kissing, Korerumi, god i love these idiots, he gets super ooc when drunk, it's just kiyo being drunk, kirukiyo is my otp, there's minor implied oumasai, this was just rlly self indulgent, um how to tag?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 07:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21352327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrshard/pseuds/starrshard
Summary: Korekiyo was an odd person.However, of all the things that never ceased to surprise Kirumi about her boyfriend, she never would’ve expected him to be an absolute lightweight.
Relationships: Shinguji Korekiyo/Tojo Kirumi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	lightweight

Korekiyo was an odd person.

From the way he dressed to the way he spoke, anybody would say he was weird. His obsession with humanity and anthropology only added to that, and worst of all, he once had a rather… mmh, _intense_ incestous relationship with his own sister.

However, of all the things that never ceased to surprise Kirumi about her boyfriend, she never would’ve expected him to be an absolute lightweight.

Kirumi watched, in a mixture of amusement and horror, as Kiyo picked up Ryouma, screeched “THIS BITCH EMPTY!”, and proceeded to throw him across the room, yelling, “YEET!” Kaito and Maki hastily rushed to catch the three-foot-tall midget.

“H-hey, don’t look at me like that! GYAAUUUGGHHH!” Kokichi took off screaming as Kiyo bolted towards him, likely to sentence him to the same ordeal he put Ryouma through.

The 79th Class had decided to get together at a private bar they’d rented out. Obviously, this was getting more and more out of hand, as Miu, Shuichi, Tenko, Kiyo, and Rantaro were all criminally drunk, with varying degrees of insanity under such an influence. The bartender, a lovely girl named Ran, seemed to be sweating profusely as she observed them with increasing concern and fear.

“MOM! HELP ME!” Kokichi screamed as Kiyo snatched him up and threw him at a drunk, sleepy Shuichi, who was half passed out on a sofa.

Kirumi sighed and got up, swiftly making her way over to Kiyo and restraining him from taking after Himiko. The short red-head was currently protected by Tenko. Drunk Tenko was a lot like Tenko on steroids, so Kirumi obviously didn’t want a fight to break out between her and Kiyo.

“Wha- hey, babe,” Kiyo slurred. Kirumi internally winced; it seemed alcohol had successfully flipped his personality. Kiyo would never call her “babe”, much less throw the shorter members of his class around like dodgeballs.

However, it was nice, to a degree, she decided.

“Kiyo, you’ve had too much to drink.” Kirumi dragged her boyfriend over to a couch and laid him down on it.

“Heeeeey, that’s not nice~” Kiyo whined as she sat down by him, the warmth of his abdomen against her back, trapping him against the back of the sofa.

“Do I have to tie you down for you to stay still?” she asked, turned her head to look down at him.

“Oh, please do!” Kiyo suddenly moaned, taking her following lapse in concentration to crawl up and sprawl across her lap needily. Kirumi gave a small “Ah!” in surprise.

“Get a room, ya rabbits!” Miu barked, cackling and drunk out of her mind, although her personality was just as extreme as usual. Kiibo, being perfectly sober since he was a robot and couldn’t drink _anything_, was desperately trying to restrain her.

“Shut your mouth, you filthy cum dumpster!” Kokichi called back from his own sofa, where Shuichi had passed out on his shoulder at one point.

“Kiyo, you are _not_ okay,” Kirumi said, trying to keep her voice level despite the crimson blush creeping up her neck. ‘At least he can’t tell in the dim lighting.’

“I am perfectly fine,” Kiyo replied promptly, raising one bandaged hand to stroke Kirumi’s lips. She inhaled sharply as the rough binding of her boyfriend’s fingers met the soft tenderness of her mouth.

“Your eyes are beautiful, Kirumi. Did you know that? You should,” Kiyo murmured. Kirumi was speechless at this point by all the things her normally stifledly formal boyfriend was saying under the influence of just three shots. There was a fire-like blush lighting up her face. From a few meters away, she could hear Kokichi laughing into his fist.

“And your skin… so smooth, like a porcelain doll.” Kiyo’s slender fingers moved to her cheeks, thumb sliding down her jawline.

“Your heart… so pure, so selfless, so beautiful.” Kiyo’s hand slipped down to her chest, fingers against her bust. She shuddered, a small squeak escaping her throat. She swiftly rose one hand to grip Kiyo’s and remove it from her chest.

“K-Kiyo, please, not he-”

The anthropologist suddenly sat up, slipped down his mask, and kissed Kirumi hard in the lips, effectively cutting her off. Kirumi’s eyes widened as she felt his tongue slip over hers, prompting, inviting her to challenge his dominance. One of his hands was holding hers, the other on her back, arm looped over her shoulder, his chest against hers.

She decided to simply go with the moment, deepening the kiss as her own tongue pressed against his, fighting him for dominance until she came out victorious as she always did. Kiyo moaned as she roamed his mouth with her tongue. She could practically feel him melt against her as she moved back slightly to nip on his lip and lick at his teeth.

Ultimately, Kirumi was the first to pull away, her lungs and speeding heart screaming for oxygen. She gazed down at Kiyo for a moment, taking in his expression. His parted lips, his tongue against his front teeth as he panted, his eyes lustful and heated, a blush spreading across his face as he met her stare, everything.

As she snapped out of her daze, however, Kirumi remembered that she was still surrounded by her classmates -oh, and Ran, poor Ran- in a private bar. While Kiyo crumpled against her chest, his head in her neck as he began nuzzling her, Kirumi glanced around. The noise in the bar had not died down, so nobody had been watching them, it seemed. She was glad. Such a loss of formality for the elegant maid was absurd, disgraceful, even.

“Mooooooom, stop fucking dad!” Kokichi suddenly yelled, grinning. Shuichi awoke to his voice, groaning, before promptly falling back asleep, head sliding down onto the Supreme Leader’s lap.

Okay, maybe _one_ person was watching, Kirumi decided, her hands in Kiyo’s hair as she held him close.

***

The class was parting ways for the night. Kirumi was practically dragging Kiyo along; he would’ve run off otherwise, for sure, being even drunker than earlier as Kokichi tricked him into drinking more alcohol. She was holding his hand, guiding him along the dim street.

“Hmm… babe, what’s that?” Kiyo slurred. At this point he’d given up at struggling and was allowing his girlfriend to lead him home.

Kirumi looked up to see Kiyo pointing at a street lamp.

“...That’s a street lamp, Kiyo.”

“Huh? Really? Isn’t that a person?”

For a moment, Kirumi felt panic rise in her, despite her rationale. Perhaps she’d mislooked, and there _was_ a creepy pale man in black clothes there, watching them. But when she swept her gaze in a loop around them, there was nobody. Just them walking down the street to Kirumi’s mansion, their path illuminated with streetlights. Ah, and there was Gonta, walking quite a distance ahead of them. She relaxed immediately.__

_ _“It’s just a street lamp,” Kirumi repeated. However, her grip on Kiyo’s hand did tighten as she led him along, his shoulder against hers._ _

_ _A few minutes passed. The mansion was only a few blocks away now._ _

_ _“Oh, hi Rantaro! I didn’t know you lived over here,” Kiyo suddenly said. Kirumi jumped; Rantaro lived in the opposite direction of the bar. _Is he that drunk? But I thought Kaede was driving him, Shuichi, and Kokichi all home, last I checked…__ _

_ _However, as she looked over once more, she was graced by the sight of Kiyo talking to a tree._ _

_ _“Kiyo, that’s a tree.”_ _

_ _“Kirumi, babe, don’t be rude. You’ll hurt his feelings,” Kiyo whined. He turned back to the tree, stopping this time, since the plant obviously wasn’t moving and to him, it likely looked like “Rantaro” had halted as well._ _

_ _ _Maybe I should play along._ _ _

_ _“Hello, Rantaro. I apologize for the misconception. Since when did you get so tall?” Kirumi asked, holding a straight face despite the absurdity of the situation. “And where are Kaede, Shuichi, and Kokichi?”_ _

_ _A pause._ _

_ _“I can’t hear you,” Kiyo said. “Speak up, or something.”_ _

_ _Silence. The tree wasn’t making a sound, obviously._ _

_ _“Rantaro! Why are you being quiet?! Are you mocking me?” Kiyo suddenly tore loose from Kirumi’s grasp and ran head-on into the tree, snapping off a small twig growing from a low-hanging branch in the process. When he backed up and realized the miniscule damage, he gasped, almost too dramatically to be genuine._ _

_ _“Dear gods, I broke off his arm! Look at it on the floor!” he screeched at Kirumi. “Rantaro, are you okay? Can you hear me?!” He turned back to the tree and grabbed the trunk. “I am so sorry!”_ _

_ _“Korekiyo Shinguuji, I would like to remind you that you are beyond drunk. You just ran into a tree and broke off a small twig,” Kirumi said flatly, trying desperately not to laugh at this point._ _

_ _“Stop being mean to him! Rantaro, I’m sorry! Hey, are you awake? Wake up! Stop sleeping standing up! Oh gods, I think I killed him! RANTARO, I’M SORRRYYYYYYYY!” Kiyo collapsed in a ball at the base of the trunk and started sobbing._ _

_ _Kirumi tilted her head in concern. It was at that moment that she recognized that he was seriously drunk, and actually, legitimately thought Rantaro had walked up to them and that he ran into him, broke his arm, and subsequently killed him._ _

_ _ _Oh my god. Remind me to never let him drink again…_ _ _

_ _“Kiyo, it’s okay. You didn’t kill Rantaro. I’m telling you, you’re very drunk and just ran into a tree. I’ll call him later if you want. Come on, let’s go home now,” Kirumi patiently said, crouching down to pet Kiyo on the head, stroking his long, dark hair._ _

_ _Kiyo refused to budge. Kirumi decided that if he wasn’t going to leave willingly, she’d have to force him to leave. She hooked one arm under his legs and one against his back, and began to attempt to pick him up. She was capable of doing so; she’d done so before, and despite him being taller than her, some of her requests as a maid required physical labor, so it wasn’t too difficult._ _

_ _However, Kiyo was writhing and struggling too much for her efforts to pay off. She was able to pick him up, yes, but only if he wasn’t struggling like she were the devil. He was thirteen kilograms heavier than her, no matter how strong she was._ _

_ _Kirumi sighed. It was getting late. She had to get both him and herself home. She looked up, and suddenly remembered something._ _

_ _“Gonta! Help!” Kirumi called down the sidewalk. The man in question turned and saw her crouched by the tree, so he ran over in a hurry._ _

_ _“What wrong-? Oh.” He looked down and saw Kiyo sobbing against the tree. “That no good.”_ _

_ _“Gonta, could you please pick him up and help me take him home? He is very drunk...” Kirumi said, deciding not to divulge into the details for Kiyo’s sake, once he fell sober._ _

_ _“Oh. Okay! Gonta help Mother. Gonta take Kiyo home.” Gonta promptly scooped up Kiyo despite the anthropologist’s subsequent screech, and began walking down the street with him and Kirumi._ _

_ _They reached the mansion. Kirumi let Gonta in to drop off Kiyo in the living room. At one point or another, Kiyo had passed out, so he flopped limply onto the sofa like a ragdoll._ _

_ _“I apologize for this inconvenience. I should not have allowed Kiyo to drink quite so much, or Kokichi to trick him into taking more shots.” Kirumi bowed slightly to Gonta as he stood in the doorway. “If you so desire, you could stay the night.”_ _

_ _“Gonta happy he could help friend. But Gonta must go home. Gonta has bugs at home. Gonta must see them. Gonta thank Mother! Goodnight,” he said, waving to Kirumi as he began to walk away down the long winding path and driveway to her mansion._ _

_ _“Goodnight, Gonta,” Kirumi called back._ _

_ _***_ _

_ _After washing up and getting dressed to go to bed, she went back to the living room and picked up Kiyo. Considering how deeply asleep he was, he didn’t even shift as she scooped him up and took him into her bedroom. She took off his hat and shoes and placed him atop the sheets. It was summer, so it was warm enough with her window open for them to sleep with only a thin blanket._ _

_ _Kirumi crawled under the blanket and wrapped her arms around Kiyo, falling asleep against the steady rhythm of his chest._ _

_ _***_ _

_ _Kirumi awoke before Kiyo._ _

_ _The man sure was sleeping like a rock, she thought. She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. At her touch, he groaned and rolled over, waking up._ _

_ _“Hnn… my head throbs as if a demon is banging on the walls of my skull,” he murmured drowsily, turning away from her. Kirumi took the comment as an indicator of two things: one, he was back to his normal self, and two, she should probably do something if his head hurts. She sat up, leaned forward, and gently massaged his temples, propping his head up on her lap. “Thank you, Kirumi. And good morning.”_ _

_ _“Good morning. Yesterday night was… quite the experience,” Kirumi replied slowly._ _

_ _“Whatever it was that occurred, it gave me one fantastic headache,” he replied. “I only remember going to the bar with the class and drinking a few shots. I am intrigued. What transpired last night?”_ _

_ _“...You thought a tree by the sidewalk was Rantaro.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> * >bonus< *
> 
> “You recorded everything?!” Kirumi stared at Kokichi. They were at a café for lunch, more than happy for some non-alcoholic drinks. It was rare for Kirumi to have quite so little in her schedule, but oddly nice, since it meant she could do things with her friends. Kiyo was at her mansion with his killer headache from the previous night, so it was just the maid and her “son” sitting in an air-conditioned window seat.
> 
> “Yup! I can show you~” Kokichi pulled out his phone, tapped his way through the device, and handed it to her. It was an album of video clips, each about a minute long, of Kiyo’s antics as a drunk moron. As Kirumi watched each of them, she realized that Kokichi had in fact gotten all of their shenanigans caught on camera. Even the ordeal with the tree on their way back home; it seemed he’d actually followed them instead of leaving with Kaede, perhaps out of curiosity of what Kiyo would do.
> 
> “How come the only thing you did at a class gathering was record Kiyo? Didn’t you want to do anything with your classmates?” Kirumi asked as she handed him back his phone.
> 
> “Weeeeeeell, Rantaro was drunk and hitting on Kaede, and Shuichi was asleep. So I kinda had nothing to do,” Kokichi said, as if that explained his surprisingly complete collection of video clips. “Come on, I recorded other people too. And I can send these clips to you, so dad can see!” He grinned.
> 
> Kirumi sighed. “Fine. It would be interesting to see his reaction, I suppose.”
> 
> Later, when she showed him the videos, Kiyo promptly curled up in a ball of shame and cried. He was never living this down. None of his classmates would see him as threatening ever again.


End file.
